forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
