return my video game
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
