I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
