marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
