It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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