hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
