I'm jealous of your bromance
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
