while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
