Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
