dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
