Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
