if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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