it was like eating out sand paper
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
