Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
They have beer where we have blood.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
