btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
