Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize