Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
