this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
