i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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