By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
