so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
