This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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