Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
