her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
