He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
