is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
