Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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