i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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