She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
