Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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