I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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