didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
