Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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