Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
