I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
