One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
