Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
