So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
