Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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