Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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