AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
