the day after is always just damage control
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
