State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
