you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
