i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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