can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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