The maid of honor just puked.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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