Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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