Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
