D3 body, D1 cock
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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