Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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